This is the most succinct, heart-felt, cogent, to-the-point explanations of American trans-reality I have ever read. It is a handy manifesto that needs to be a little chapbook you can just pull out and read from whenever the occasion arises. Feel free to commit it to memory. Share it with someone who just doesn’t get it. Maybe that’s you. A little bit. Maybe not. Maybe now you will “get it.” Or at least think about wanting to get it the next time you turn on the tv and see the world through a transperson’s eyes. Because how can you not after reading this?
In the interest of full disclosure, Jarek is my partner. No, we are not married because in our state, that can’t happen. And we haven’t wanted to go somewhere else. We want to be recognized on our home turf. So for now and probably for most of our relationship, we will not be legally married. Because the laws that proclaim you man or woman vary greatly from state to state, but one thing does not vary: the absolute blatant ignorance with which state officials respond to various trans-based requests and inquiries.
There is one part of this experience that Jay doesn’t talk about here: the Significant Other. Or, as they say in the vernacular, Significant Other, Friends,, Family and Allies, or SOFFA.If I am going to be a piece of living room furniture, I prefer to think of myself as a love seat.
Anyway, my part of this story requires a real blog. That will come, whenever I get as brave as Jay. There are lots of us couches out there. And many of us have paid dearly for the privilege of loving our transperson. Of course, we are not likely to be targets in the same ways that our transloveobjects are. But when you prick us, we bleed, too. So. Please read Jay’s piece. Please share it widely.
The life you save may be closer than you think.
Last night I turned on my tv. I waited for the customary 10-20 seconds before my mess of electronics caught up with my desires and started displaying the current program on the channel whomever watched it last left it. Comedy Central.
Shouted (or so it seemed because the sound was turned up) into my living room was this:
Person one – “Just because he was with a tranny doesn’t make him gay. You were with a tranny.” [canned laughter]
Person two (a woman) – “Yeah, I think he waited ’til she had her dick cut off before he banged her, so it doesn’t count.”
It went downhill from there resulting in Danny Devito’s character making a quip about gay marriage that was so tired and overused, I’m too bored to repeat it.
Then I turned the channel, muted the tv and logged into Facebook, where there was a discussion about…
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